Wednesday, 15 October 2008

Page 130

Patsy and her Mum and Dad came at about 6.00pm they had brought the remainder of the money collected at work for Sheila after buying flowers. It was a grand total of £200 this was unbelievable after Sheila only being there a short time but just proved what an impact she had.
I told Patsy that I would make equiries after the funeral as to what was available as a memorial and would ring her.

There was what I thought was a knock on the front door but there was no one there, just a letter on the floor addressed to me. I opened it and saw it was from Dennis`s ex wife Linda. It said she would not be at the funeral tomorrow as she felt really left out and that we hadnt told her any details about the times etc. and as we had made it perfectly clear she wasnt part of the family. I was gobsmacked, she had actually been at our house when Steve and Dennis came back from arranging the funeral. Also she had helped me choose the wreaths and flowers including posies from Craig and Simon. The last thing in the letter was ` I wont see you again` goodbye Linda. I was totally puzzled, she knew as much as we did.

I showed Dennis and Steve they were shocked too. Someone had delivered it by hand. Patsy said she must have wanted to upset me and she was right but all it did was make me angry. What a selfish person she was.
Patsy and her Mum and Dad said that they would be at the funeral tomorrow and would meet us at the crematorium. June, Mike`s sister was coming in the morning and Erin. We had a cup of tea and chatted for a while. I am glad they came or we would have just sat around dreading the morning coming. At least it took our minds off it for a while. They left at about 9.00pm

I am glad they came it took the pressure out of the night before the dreaded day.

The morning came all too soon, we tidied up a bit, as we had no idea if anyone would be coming back to the house. I was not laying on any food, I didnt agree with this, I had loads of biscuits and tea and coffee. We were all a bundle of nerves. June and Erin arrived together they had somehow met up at the station. The hearse was due to arrive at 11.00am. We were all ready.

The hearse arrived, I couldnt believe my beautiful daughter was in it. It was laden in flowers and wreaths I just couldnt believe this was happening. There was quite a few people standing around paying their respects but I couldnt take my eyes off the coffin. I dont remember getting in the car or who was in with me. In fact I dont remember anything about the funeral, it was as if I had blanked it out. The next thing I remember is arriving home. Quite a few came back to our house and I started making tea and coffee for everyone , it was as if I was on auto pilot.

I found it very difficult making conversation . I had nothing to say. I just wanted to be with my family, very selfish I know but it was how I felt and I think Steve,Lesley and Dennis felt the same.

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