Saturday, 5 July 2008

Page 22

Another hour passed,they said they couldn`t find Jackie, a warrant had been issued for his arrest. My Dad said they probably wanted him in custody before they let us go. This wasn`t to be. They said they had to arrange for me to see the police doctor the next morning(tuesday). I was scared, I had no idea why I had to see him, they wouldn`t tell me other than just routine. Also at some point when they had spoken to Jackie, I would have to appear at the Magistrates Court.

They said we could go home, unbeknown to me they had passed everything on that I had said in my statement to my Dad, as then 1958 I was a minor. Breach of promise was a crime then.
When we left the police station we had to pass the Transport office ,as I looked down the corridor I saw Jackie, he saw me and I went to speak to him, I couldn`t believe my eyes, he actually ran the other way, away from me. I ran after him but he had disappeared out the back entrance. That made me think what a gutless thing to do, were the cops right, a spratt to catch a mackeral , now I was angry.

I went back to my Dad, he had seen what had happened, he put his arm around me and said we would get through what was to come, we had coped with worse situations albeit different. I really thought he would be disgusted with me but he wasn`t, I had my Mum to face yet, gestapo, KGB all rolled into one.

As we were walking to the bus stop I happened to see a newsstand and on the placard it said ` Bus Conductress engaged to married Bus Conductor with two kids` or words to that effect. My Dad and I both looked at each other and realised it was going to be newsworthy.

We walked in the door at home, we were met by my Mum, who was obviously out of her mind with worry, the last thing she knew was my Dad going out in a temper to show me the letter about 9 hours ago.

My Dad had to tell her we had been at the police station all this time and all about the things I had told them, she came at me like a madwoman calling me all sorts of horrible names, guttersnipe was the favourite, slut and many more, this is what I expected, maybe not so strong. I was hurt, demoralised she made me very aware that the only person with any compassion at all was my Dad and not to expect any sympathy or understanding from her. She said she would never hold her head up again, what had she done to deserve me.
She said I would never find anybody to go out with me , not any decent person, only a guttersnipe which was what I deserved. So far she hadn`t mentioned Jackie that he was the one who lied to us all from day one.

Up until this outburst I thought I was holding myself together quite well but now everything was getting mixed up, it now appears to be all my fault. I wasn`t worth anything if my Mum couldn`t stand to be near me what chance did I have for a little bit of compassion. My Dad came and gave me a big hug and said she didn`t mean what she had said but I think she did, he said to let her cool down, he was sure she would apologise.

No one seemed to realise that I had lost my fiance and was absolutely devastated. I thought he would try and see me. I know he was avoiding the police but running away from me in the Office had shocked me to the core.

My Dad told my Mum I had to go and see the police doctor at 9.30am in the morning, she said she would go with me, perhaps my dad was right, it was just shock but it had really hurt me.
There was a knock at the door, it was the police still looking for Jackie, they asked if they couild look in his room to see if he had taken any clothes but we knew he hadn`t been back.

We all had something to eat, in silence. I went to bed so my Mum and Dad could have a chat. I had only been in bed about 20 mins. when my Mum came to my bedroom, gave me a big hug and we both cried, she apologised said she had been so worried, she had no idea where we were, she thought something must have happened to my dad. What she had called me I couldn`t get out of my mind because I knew that wasn`t what I was about. I may have been a bit wild and like to have fun but I never overstepped the mark and certainly didn`t deeserve being called such terrible names, she knew she had gone too far.

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