Page 49

Come Sunday morning Mike was up bright and early and got started on the decorating, I nearly fainted this was unheard of perhaps what he did yesterday had shocked him, me of little faith thought it was a flash in the pan. He would now finish the decorating but I would have bet my life that as soon as it was done he would return to his usual bone idle self.

I must admit he did make a very good job and didn’t stop until it was finished that was the scullery and living room….. Although we didn’t have any glass in the door, that would have to wait until Monday.

Lesley was doing really well she was 1month old she still had the red white and blue eyes, they were taking ages to clear. Mike didn’t take much notice of her, he would pick her up when any visitors came to show what a good Dad he was but he hadn’t bathed or changed a nappy and said he never would, his loss.

My Mum came most Saturdays the odd Saturday I went to her house. She was thrilled to bits with Lesley always buying her lovely clothes. She also worked at Harrods as a buyer and usually got first pick of sale goods. I know my Mum knew that things weren’t right with Mike and me she kept saying is everything ok and of course I said yes..

Another row Mike came home from work drunk and had spent most of his wages, I know it was dangerous but I couldn’t keep letting him get away with it. Next thing I knew I was being thrown around the room, I was sure he would end up killing me, his face was grotesque and full of hate. His Mum must have heard but she was more scared of him than me as he had hit her several times. Doesn’t that say what kind of person he was. I was terrified he had completely lost it, I thought there was only one thing I could do to break this reign of violence but it was chancy but I really didn’t think I had a choice. I somehow got to Lesley’s crib and grabbed her thank god it worked, he looked shocked but stopped and went out of the room. I was black and blue and hurt from head to toe. It was only then I realised what a terrible chance I had taken with my beautiful daughter but I still don’t think I had a choice.

I hobbled to the living room but there was no sign of Mike, I hadn’t heard the door open. I just wanted to run away with Lesley but I had no money and no where to go.Times were so different then there wasn’t the help you can get now. Besides I was so lacking in self confidence having to watch what I said and did. It was getting so he could do exactly as he wished because the consequences of having a go was what had just happened and I vowed I would never put Lesley at risk like that again. I would take what ever came my way.

What made a man like that, I have a theory that the only way that type of person can feel in charge is by intimidating someone, just bullies really, they are lacking confidence and get this feeling of power. Mike didn’t have a very good vocabulary and I had, I could tie him in knots with big words and I suppose the only way he could win was to use violence.