Tuesday, 5 August 2008

Page 59

She was thrilled about Stephen coming home because neither her or my Mum and Dad had seen them yet. She gave me a big hug when I told her I had held and fed Sheila because she knew how I had felt we had talked about it. We thanked her for looking after Lesley and went upstairs to our flat. I didn’t know what to expect but I knew something was in the offing. He shut the door turned to me with his face about an inch from mine and said” if you didn’t have to go to the hospital tomorrow you would have at least a couple of black eyes for the way you treated me tonight, never, if you value your life, do that again.” With that he turned and went to bed. I didn’t say a word but I really wanted to tell him to go to hell .

That was over so I started getting Stephens clothes together and getting my beautiful twin pram ready. Mikes Mum had knitted me a beautiful pram cover and pillowcases to match in white and with the navy blue interior it looked great, I was so proud but would have liked my husband to share this moment …..dream on, he couldn’t have cared less. I got the sterilising unit ready put in some bottles and went to bed anticipating tomorrow.

Tomorrow came. Mike had gone to work thank god. I checked and double checked that I had everything I needed and then went and got Lesley up .When I told her Stephen was coming home today she was jumping up and down with excitement she just couldn’t contain herself, she said” can I help bath him and feed him” I said “ of course, I wouldn’t be able to do it all myself I needed her help”. She had breakfast and I dressed her and checked again that I had everything and off we went.

While I went to see the Doctor the nurse was going to dress Stephen. The Doctor said they were very pleased with Stephen and that he had a clean bill of health. One thing he would like me to do every couple of days was to press the bottom of his foot and if the white mark I left turned almost immediately to red that was fine but if it took a while then I must ring the hospital immediately. He said if that happened Stephen would need what they call a top up transfusion. This scared me half to death, what a responsibility, I said I would do it each morning. The Doctor said not to worry about it but that it was important to be able detect a problem quickly. Other than that, nothing, no medication at all. I thanked him for the excellent care they had given and were still giving to Sheila.

He said if I was unsure of anything just to ring and check it out. I went to get Stephen he looked amazing in his outer clothes , I couldn’t wait to introduce him to Lesley.

She had been sat by herself in this little room, little more than a cupboard. She was a really brilliant little girl. When I went to her with the baby her face was a picture. She gave him a big kiss and asked if she could sit in the pram with him but at the other end. She said he might be lonely and she would look after him. She was thrilled at last the twins became a reality for her, one at least.

We got home and Mike was in, he held Stephen and said at last we have a baby home, now the sleepless nights start. He couldn’t just keep it positive he had to end it with a negative. I am sure it wont be him that gets up in the night. Lesley couldn’t stop looking at Stephen she was fascinated by him, I said shall we change him and then feed him I said I would need her help so to wash her hands ready.

I took him to see Mike’s mum when she came home from work. There were tears in her eyes I think like me she didn’t think they would survive their terrible start but here at least was Stephen and I was now sure Sheila would make it. The nurse had been right when it got to the actual birth date Sheila certainly had improved. I wasn’t able to go to the hospital very often as there was no where to leave Lesley and Stephen .The only place was outside the prem unit and people were passing all the time going to other departments ,after Lesley almost being taken when she was a baby I was scared but I had to do it . That’s why I explained to the staff that I could only stay a minute, they said they understood but I felt I was neglecting Sheila. That she might think nobody loved her. I decided I would ask Mike if he would come with me one evening but I knew after last time he would say no and I was right he flatly refused so I had to struggle with the other two children and take a chance on leaving them for a couple of minutes .

Sheila had now been in hospital 6 weeks I just wanted her home with us. When I got to the hospital they said excellent news the Doctors had said Sheila could come home but she would need to be on medication for maybe 12 months and that she would have to have regular checkups, initially every week then as she improved hopefully it would go to once a month the same as Stephen. The heart murmur they said forget about it. It should’nt give her any problems. The kidney infections were taking longer to sort but with the right medication which they now thought they had got right she should be fine.
They said they knew I would watch the twins like a hawk but that I shouldn’t worry unduly and enjoy them. I assured them my children meant everything to me and I would do my best for them.

The next morning a very excited Lesley and me went to collect Sheila, I couldn’t wait all my family together at last. My Mum and Dad and Dennis was coming tonight to see Sheila they were very excited also. Same procedure as before, the Doctor talking to me and explaining the medication whilst the nurse was dressing Sheila. I was like a cat on hot bricks as Lesley and Stephen were outside on there own in the pram and it was taking ages, in the end I had to ask the Doctor if I could just go and check the children he apologised for taking so long. They were fine . When I got back Sheila was ready. I thanked everyone and gave them a giant box of chocolates.

I put Sheila in the pram the opposite end to Stephen they looked amazing. Lesley now had to walk, bless her it was a long way for her little legs but she was quite happy. She kept telling me to stop and lift her up to look at the babies she was thrilled.

I was a bit scared, I did wonder how I was going to cope. In the flat we had no bathroom an outside loo and one cold tap, no hot water. A pulley washing line that you had to sit on the windowsill to put the washing out. I would have god knows how many nappies each day and I was very particular about my washing, the whites had to be white and the colours nice and bright. Money would also be tight. The twins milk was SMA the most expensive but vital for them. Thank goodness they had loads of clothes everyone had bought them something. Mikes Mum had knitted loads of things and I only had to ask for something in particular and it would be there.

No comments: