Saturday, 2 August 2008

Page 54

Lesley went downstairs to have tea with her Nan it was something they did every Sunday. Lesley loved it they always had amongst other things winkles which they picked out with a pin. I couldn’t think of anything worse but they loved it. Mike had been a bit off and I was sure he was after an argument. I was stood at the top of the stairs and Mike said in a nasty tone “if I wanted to I could just give you a little push and you would find yourself at the bottom of the stairs probably ending up losing the twins” I could not believe what he had just said. “I said you don’t really mean that do you”. He said he did and that the last thing he wanted right now was two screaming babies especially me being the mother. He said while I was in hospital he just might leave us and lead a single happy life. I knew he was spoiling for a fight but I had to respond . “you cannot be serious these are your children, he said he had never been more serious in his life. He wanted out. I said “fine go, we will probably be better off without you, we will get by somehow,anything would be better than this constant torture”. He said “right I am off then” “I said don’t forget to pack a bag”. I don’t know what had happened to me I didn’t care and I did think we would be better off. His face was like thunder. “he said are you trying to provoke me” I couldn’t believe my next comment. “if the cap fits”. He stormed out round one to me but I didn’t feel happy about it I knew he would be back.

I think standing up to him took him by surprise and he didn’t know quite how to react. For the last few months he had called the shots what he wanted to do he did .I didn’t argue with him it usually cost me a black eye or two but I had had enough. If he went he went, we would cope . I was full of bravado but knew he would not forget this and he would get his own back at some time.

This was not a good way to end my stay at home, tomorrow I would be in hospital for a month, away from him but also my Lesley I didn’t know how he would be with her, I hoped she would be with his Mum most of the time.I was terrified but it was all out of my control. Mike left at about 5.00pm without a bag I might add, so it was a bottomless threat. He came back about 7.00pm and apologised he said he was worried about the next month looking after Lesley, he didn’t know if he could cope. I said it was no excuse for what he had said about not wanting the twins. I said lets drop it know and try and salvage the rest of the evening.

He said he had been walking the streets and thinking what a complete idiot he had been and that he would definitely try and alter his ways I didn’t deserve that kind of treatment. “I said no I didn’t I deserved more respect and less threats, it was eroding our relationship and if he wasn’t careful he would end up a lonely old man. I defy anybody to put up with what I have to and remain sane. It was all threats both mentally and physically. Lets call a truce at least for the next month.I said it should be easy for him as I would be out of the way.

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