Saturday, 2 August 2008

Page 55

Monday morning came round much too soon, I had to be at the hospital by 9.00am before the doctors did there rounds.
I got Lesley ready she didn’t seem at all bothered, which was good it was me that was beating myself up. Mike took Lesley to Marjorie’s with all her bits. She waved goodbye with a big smile I was so pleased she wasn’t upset.

Next stop the maternity hospital I really didn’t want to go a whole month in there. Still it had to be for my babies sake they would stand a better chance with me resting.
I was taken to the ward and settled in bed waiting for the doctors. The lady in the next bed was expecting twins and she gave me the rundown on all the other patients. There was a mother and daughter both expecting there babies within a week of each other. The mother was 44 yrs old and very much in shock. There was also an Indian lady called Amida she was also expecting twins but according to this lady could not speak a word of English.

The doctors came round checked us over briefly and the rest of the day we chatted and got to know each other.
Amida didn’t eat hospital meals some relative brought in chapatti’s and other bits and pieces we had to make do with hospital food but in all fairness it didn’t seem too bad.

Time passed quite quickly meeting new people and having a laugh but I am sure boredom will set in soon. Amida seemed to want to try and communicate with me she would wave to me and smile as she was the other side of the ward. It was very frustrating and must have been awful for her. The other girls said a man came to visit her a couple of times and just sat and didn’t speak, other than that no one. All I could do was smile.

Visiting times were 7pm – 8pm just an hour a day. Mike came and said Lesley had been fine with Marjorie and was now with his Mum. We didn’t have much to say hospitals have this affect on you. He stayed until 8pm and I think we were both relieved . He said he would be there the next night and then his Mum would probably come on Wednesday and that my Mum and Dad would visit over the weekend.

Time passed they were a nice bunch of people and we did have a laugh. About a week later the top consultant came to visit us all and discuss our situations and to read our notes. He got to my bed and started reading my notes. After a while he said well Mrs Prior we will do our best to avoid what happened with your first delivery to lose your first baby like that would be devastating. I looked at him and said “I think you must have the wrong notes as my little girl is fit and well and will be three in 2 months”. I showed him a photo I had by my bed. He said” he couldn’t believe from reading the notes that they had managed to save my baby that in 99.9% of that type of delivery ended in a stillbirth.” He said he was very sorry he hadn’t read the notes completely but was sure I knew just how lucky myself and my baby was and that Dr Sing performed a miracle that day.

Time passed slowly we chatted a lot and did have a good laugh. The mother and daughter both went into labour within 2 hours of each other and both had boys.
Amida looked very sad I would wave to her and smile there was little else to do because of the language situation. Her babies were due in a couple of weeks.

My Mum and Dad came on Saturday, they had been to see Lesley and said she was absolutely fine but missing me as I was her. They said that Dennis was coming to see me on Sunday, as that was afternoon visiting, he was 15 yrs old now and they didn’t see much of him he was always out with his mates. We were still very close though.

I was now into my second week, it was going so slowly all there was to do was take a bath or chat about nothing in particular. Mike didn’t come on Monday or Tuesday and on Wednesday his Mum came. I asked her why Mike hadn’t been to visit and she said he said he was tired. I wrote him a note for her to give him saying I didn’t think this was on not visiting for three days.

He came the next day ,Thursday handed me a letter and promptly went back out. I was dumbstruck. I opened the letter it was a horrible letter, telling me he didn’t love me, never had it was just to get back at his Mum for locking him out and that he had meant what he had said about not wanting the twins and if he didn’t feel like visiting then he wouldn’t. Also not to write to him again he didn’t want hassle from me. I was so upset I think being stuck in the hospital not being able to retaliate, feeling like a beached whale and having this awful feeling that I was going to have to bring up the children on my own just about destroyed me. Then I thought this is exactly what he wants, to reduce me to a quivering wreck. This is how he got his kicks. Well it wouldn’t work I would treat that letter with the contempt it deserved. If he visited again I would be totally in control and would make no reference to the letter.

It was so sad really, awaiting twins already having a beautiful daughter we should have been so happy. I knew my marriage was as good as over for me, I could not forget the things he had done and said, I would have to stick it for a while and try and make other arrangements. I felt gutted I shouldn’t have had to think about these things at this time. I knew I would have to tell my Mum and Dad but I was so afraid of upsetting my Dad. He was still suffering from the affects of his operation and any thing that really upset him would bring on an epileptic fit and these were so horrific we tried to avoid any upset for him at all costs. My Dad meant so much to me that I already knew I would put up with whatever was dished out by Mike.

Mike came to visit on Saturday not Friday as he probably wanted to punish me a little more but my resolve was strong, I behaved as though nothing had happened and I could tell from his demeanour that he was puzzled. He then asked if I had read the letter, I said I had. He said’ and ‘ I said’ and ‘nothing I just ignored it. I told him what the consultant had said about Lesley he said we were so lucky and he carried on chatting like a normal person. Then said he had to go and that he was sorry about the letter, it was written in a flash of temper. I then realised that I had to be tough and not give a reaction to his antics…..easier said than done…..but I was going to give it a go.

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