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I was taken to see my babies , the little girl looked terrible she was purple from the neck down this they said was due to a heart condition they had detected and they thought there were other things also to do with her kidneys. The prognosis was bad for both babies. The baby boy looked really well he was a lovely peach colour but that was slowly killing him .I was absolutely petrified. I hadn’t even been able to hold my baby girl if anything should happen to her. Life had suddenly gone pear shaped. No one knew what the outcome would be but it looked grim.

They said they would keep me informed every step of the way but I was sceptical they hadn’t done too well so far, negligence springs to mind , my concern at the time was my two babies. I just sat around all day waiting for news. At about 5pm Mike was allowed in to see me and he said the twins were in a special room where you had to put on special clothing and wear a mask before you were allowed in. He said the baby boy had had his blood changed and everything had gone really well. Because this procedure was very high risk but he had come through it well. With a bit of luck that would be the end of it. The little girl was a different situation Mike said she had tubes everywhere and that for some reason she appeared to be more premature than the boy. He said she didn’t know how to suck so she was being fed by tube, they had also found significant kidney problems and she was losing weight which was a major concern to them as she was only 4lb 14ozs at birth. They said the next 48hrs would be critical.

I felt so helpless I needed to see my babies.So much for the hospital letting me know what was happening. I begged and pleaded to be taken to Charing Cross Hospital to see my babies but no way would they allow it. I could not see why I was still in hospital as I was fine I hadn’t had any stitches.

When the Doctor came on his rounds I asked him if I could be discharged he said no , I said in that case I want to discharge myself as I had to see my babies. He said he strongly advised against it that the rules were a minimum of 10days after a multiple birth. I insisted and he said I would have to see my consultant for release I said ok find him.

About 2hours later the consultant came I explained that I was fine, receiving no treatment ,had no stitches ,my babies were on the critical list in another hospital and I needed to see them. I couldn’t believe my ears he said of course we will release you you must be with your babies. At last a man who had compassion. Mike had to dash home get my clothes and dash back.

This time before I had gone into hospital I had left some clothes out that I hoped would fit me after having the twins. He got back and I was worried, I hoped the clothes would fit, thank goodness they did. I couldn’t wait to get to the hospital. What a palaver getting scrubbed up and donning a sort of pale blue top and trousers also plastic bits over your shoes, at last we were all done. I was shocked when I saw the baby girl she was just as Mike had said covered in wires and sticky tape. The little boy looked great, he was a normal colour now .

Incidently, I forgot to mention earlier that about 2 days after there birth Mike had come into the hospital to see me and casually mentioned that he had registered the twins. I said you cant have we haven’t finally decided on names, he said he had now and that the little girl was Sheila Joan these were names we hadn’t even discussed, I asked him where the Joan came from and he said it was an old girlfriend of his. I was dumbstruck, I couldn’t believe what he had just said. The little boy was ok he was Stephen George these were names we had discussed but not decided on. I didn’t make that much of it although I was actually livid because I was too worried about the twins but I thought that was a really mean thing to do, very callous.

I went to see the twins every day just Lesley and I. Lesley wasn’t allowed in the unit, she had to sit and wait in a tiny little sort of waiting room. She was ever so good but I couldn’t stay long. Stephen was doing good and they said he would be able to come home in a couple of days, not so sheila she now had a really bad rash which they were trying to find the cause of. She was still losing weight and being tube fed. She did look a sorry sight, poor little mite. I was so worried I didn’t see how she could suddenly improve. The Sister said that it was a strange thing but they tended to make a great improvement on or around their actual due date ,which for Sheila and Stephen would be the 25th April and they had arrived on 23rd March so there was another three weeks to go hopefully not for Stephen because he was now fine, gaining weight and his blood was now fine.

Mike hadn’t been to see the twins since I came out of hospital so I asked him if he would go with me the next evening to save me leaving Lesley outside on her own. He said he would…..wow no pressure needed to be applied……Mikes Mum said she would listen out for Lesley as I would put her to bed before we went.

Off we went that evening about 7pm. When we got there I was so surprised the nurse was sat outside the sealed off unit feeding Sheila with a bottle. She said She had made such a dramatic improvement the tubes had been taken out and although she was very slow she was taking the bottle. She asked me if I would like to feed her I immediately said yes and told her it would be the first time I had held her. I looked across at Mike and he looked furious and was shaking his head saying no. I just ignored him and held my baby girl for the first time and she was already 3 weeks old. It was amazing, Mike did his best to ruin the time, he kept looking at his watch and mouthing, give her back. Nothing or no-one could have made me do that. I knew he was absolutely fuming but he could get on with it I would take the consequences later no doubt..

Sheila really was slow but what progress. An hour later I gave her back to the nurse as she had fallen asleep and I thought Mike had suffered enough. The nurse said that I could take Stephen home tomorrow as he was fine. The Doctor wanted a word with me at 10.00am the next morning as there were a few things I had to watch out for. I was so thrilled at least I would have one of my babies home and Lesley could at least see that there really were some babies. Mike didn’t say a word I don’t know what the nurse thought but I knew he was really angry……tough.

When we had changed our clothes, which we had done in silence we left the hospital and Mike didn’t say a word but took off like a bat out of hell. He left me to walk on my own in a not very nice area of Fulham. I didn’t care I was so happy I had held my baby, been told I could bring Stephen home, nothing else mattered. I even felt sorry for Mike his anger had ruined the moment for him

I finally got to the top of our road and I could see Mike waiting about half way down and realised he was waiting for me so that he didn’t have to give an explanation to his Mum as he would have had to if he had gone in without me