Page 74

Later that evening I went to the phone box to let my Mum know what the council had said, I knew she would be thrilled to bits. Being so far away she felt helpless. I also felt isolated. I told her and immediately heard her call my Dad and tell him. I said I was coping very well I had one more hurdle the Social Security tomorrow. The kids were clamouring to talk to them so I let them talk one at a time. Sheila said “guess what Nan I have stopped stuttering and Lesley thinks its because Dads gone. They each had a little chat and then back to me. Mum said Dennis was still working and as far as she knew no drugs.

She said she thought we would be better off on our own, especially if the kids were more relaxed. I said I thought so too, especially now I was getting things sorted out. We arranged that she would ring me on Friday at 6pm to see how I had got on with the Social.

We went home and there was Linda sat on the doorstep waiting for us. She didn’t know Mike had gone as I hadn’t seen her for a couple of weeks. She was shocked at the way he had gone and left behind all the mess but she knew more than most what he was like and thought we would be better off. She had brought a load of fruit and vegetables as she was now working in a green-grocers. The only person who would eat fruit was Lesley so she got stuck in. The twins would not even try it.

Linda stayed for a couple of hours and caught up with what was happening and said she would come over at the weekend. Off she went on her little scooter. She was a girl with many problems. They were a real odd family there was Mum, Dad and a sister and two brothers. The Dad was supposed to own a factory in Berkhamsted and be quite well off but there was something about him I didn’t like. One of these days I would get Linda to open up and try to get rid of some of her demons.

The next morning got the kids off to school did some housework and waited for the person from Social Security to arrive. I was quite nervous I had never had any dealings with these people I had no idea what things they would want to know about.

At last there was a knock at the door. It was a man from Social. I asked him in and he sat at the table put a load of papers and folders on the table and said lets get started. I took an instant dislike to him and he hadn’t said two words.
The first thing he said was if I had a look round right now would I find any mens clothing. I looked at him and said yes you would, my husband only left on Saturday and took just what he could carry. I asked why would he want to know that and he said some women try to claim when there husband is still with them. I told him that was not the case here.

He wanted to know everything I felt I was being stripped of my dignity if I had had a choice I would have told him to get out. I asked him if the rent would be paid direct to the council. His reply was do you want it to come to you so you can spend it. I said I didn’t like his inference and that I thought he had a bad attitude. I told him I wanted to know as it would be one less thing to think about. He said yes it would be paid direct. Also he said I should apply for a legal separation in the not to distant future. He then asked me where Mike was and I said I had no idea. I really didn’t like this man. I felt like I was being treated like something he would scrape off a shoe. So I was not prepared to tell him anymore than I had to.
He said if I heard from him I should let them know. Then he asked me if he left me any money I said yes £5 his answer was I can double that then. I said no it was £5 and that I thought he was overstepping the mark and should leave. He said he had finished anyway and walked out. Disgusting little man I felt like phoning and complaining but thought better of it or I might have been penalised.

I was so angry what right had he to treat me like that. Well I knew why, he just didn’t believe me. Still it was over now I had just to wait for a letter informing me of what I would get. Thank goodness Mike’s Mum had sent me that £20 at least we could eat. As I thought that to myself I realised I should probably have told that guy about it. Tough!

I made myself a cup of tea lit a cigarette and thought such is life. We might be skint but we were happy in spite of what had been thrown at us. It was time to get the lunch ready and go and collect the twins .The snow was still hanging around but it was quite slushy now.

It would soon be Lesley and the twins birthdays I had put £10 to one side out of the £20 Mikes Mum had sent and hoped I would receive some money from the social pretty soon then I could buy some birthday prezzies. It wouldn’t be much this year. I hoped Mike would either send them something or bring something but I wouldn’t hold my breath.

All I could do was wait now. I had done everything as far as I knew, unless something else crawled out of the woodwork.

The next morning I received a letter from June saying she thought I wasn’t being fair telling everyone Mikes new address, he was being bombarded with demands to pay up or else. I couldn’t believe what she was saying, what was I supposed to do allow him to get away with everything. Did she not realise the situation he had left me and his three children in. I was livid I got out the pen and paper and wrote her a stinking letter spelling out just what devious tricks he had been up to to hide all this debt, buying another car when he was still paying for the one that was written off. Leaving us with out the decency to tell us. Oh yes, she was right, fairness didn’t come into it, protection and survival of myself and my kids was my concern and if it meant not being fair to Mike then so be it. I said in fact I quite enjoyed doing it . Could she also remind him its his childrens birthday in 3 weeks.

I posted the letter when I picked up the twins and fully expected a nasty one back by return .But it didn’t happen. Maybe I had made a point she was only looking at it from his point of view and I don’t suppose he told her the full extent of the debt. The rent arrears alone were nearly £500 on top of that was the cost of redecoration of the house which is done when anybody leaves. The cost of two cars about £800 in total and utility bills which were not that much, I cant remember how much.

June had told me in the letter that he had got a job as a bus driver at Shepherds Bush Depot. He had resigned from the tankers. Well he had better do loads of overtime to pay us maintenance and pay his debts.

I finally received a letter from DHSS they said they had awarded me £8.95 per week and had enclosed a book that I had to take each week to be cashed at the post office. It didn’t seem to be much for the four of us, I would have to be really careful.
I looked at the dates of the orders and realised I could go and cash last week and this weeks. I had better put some by in case of emergencies. Of course I qualified for money when Mike left us which was now two weeks ago.

That man who came to assess what I needed worried me, I just didn’t trust him so I sat down and wrote out what he had said and inferred and his mistrust of desserted women. Also his comments when I asked if the rent would be paid direct.

I was going to have a busy weekend, Linda was coming on Saturday and Mikes Mum on Sunday she was going to have dinner with us. I had better have a good spring clean as I had been to tied up in sorting things out than to be too bothered with housework. It was soon sparkling. I had also been shopping and got us a nice piece of beef. I was going to do a roast for Sunday we hadn’t had that for ages.

We were slowly adjusting to just me and the kids. It seemed such a calmer place. I know it couldn’t last but the kids were really being little angels they couldn’t help enough.

My Mum rang the phone box as arranged earlier in the week and I told her how much I had got and also the nastiness of the DHSS man. She said I should report him but I didn’t want to cause any trouble. My Mum said she hadn’t been very well, she thought the womb trouble she had the operation for was returning. My Dad had made her make an appointment to see her Doctor. Like he said it was no good speculating it could be totally unrelated. She said she missed her job at Harrods and that there was nothing comparable there. They were now missing her wages and they were claiming DHSS.

She said Dennis was going off the rails again he had been to the Oval to see his mates a couple of weekends ago and had come back different, she was sure he was back on the drugs although he wouldn’t admit it.

Dad was helping our Doug do some DIY to his kitchen.They really did get on so well, it was good company for my Dad. He hadn’t found any work either, it was so different. There the women just didn’t go out to work after they were married. It was a totally different way of life. My Mum kept asking me to try and get an exchange to Rotherham so that we could be close together but I told her I wouldn’t be able to stand it. Even visiting and talking to different relatives, we were poles apart. Even our Anne and we used to be best mates as well as cousins.

Sunday came and Mikes Mum arrived the children nearly knocked her over they were so pleased to see her. She came loaded with goodies. Sweets for the kids and chocolates for me and several jumpers and cardigans all hand knitted for the children. I never had to buy woollies for them ,never had since they were born. She would do the same colour and style for Lesley and Sheila and usually same style but different colour for Steve.

We had a lovely time and she remarked on how happy and relaxed we were. She said she couldn’t understand Mikes behaviour, he had asked if he could stay with her just before he left but she said no as she didn’t agree with what he was doing and that she was not going to alienate herself from me and the kids. I said I wouldn’t have done that but she said she wasn’t prepared to take the chance and also she really didn’t want him there because of his temper.

We had a lovely dinner then went for a short walk. Then Mikes Mum went home. Everyone agreed it had been a bit special. It was now time for bath and bed ready for school the next morning.

I must admit that when the kids had gone to bed I did find it a bit lonely, not that Mike was much of a talker but just another presence.
It was only two weeks to the childrens birthdays I had decided to go down town today to look for a present each for them. I still had the £10 from Mikes Mum and I could put a bit to that if needed. Mikes Mum had brought their birthday presents and we had spirited them away without them noticing.

I managed to buy quite a few presents for them and was very pleased. My Mum and Dad were going to send them money so they could either save it or buy something of their choice. I really hope Mike would send them something but I had an awful feeling he wouldn’t.

Linda came over that afternoon she was a funny girl I didn’t quite know what her problems were but she didn’t do girlie things like make up and nice clothes. Curiosity was getting to me so I asked her if she had ever played about as a little girl with makeup and dressing up. Her answer really shook me, she said all her time had been taken up by trying to keep out of the house away from her Dad. I asked what she meant, did he hit the children she said no he systematically sexually abused all three girls. I asked why she didn’t tell her Mum she said she knew about it and would bath and get them ready for him to pick one. She said they would be lined up just after their bath with just undies on and he would decide. This happened from a very young age. I think the eldest one took the brunt of it, the next one used it to her advantage and poor Linda tried to protect the others and herself.

On one occasion Linda told the next door neighbour that her Dad was doing things to the middle girl in the garden shed but when challenged her Dad made up some excuse about punishing her. On another occasion she went to the police station and told them but her Mum went and told the police she was always making things up so they didn’t take it any further. The boys were aware of what was going on and at a later date the eldest one and the middle girl committed incest. The youngest boy was powerless and suffered a great deal not being able to help his sisters and it did him irreparable harm, which was to ruin his later life.

I began to understand to a certain extent why Linda was how she was .She had never had a normal childhood it was always filled with self protection and fear. I found it really difficult to understand the enormity of it as my Dad was was the best, he was my best friend, not to be able to trust either your mother or your father was beyond my comprehension. If you couldn’t trust them then who on this earth could you trust.

Page 73

The next morning I got the children washed,dressed and breakfast then off to school. We couldn’t believe how much snow there was it was about a foot deep ,of course they loved it but I had to go down town and the crossing lady said they had stopped running the buses as they couldn’t get up the hill.

I went to the phone box first to ring the contact that was on the eviction notice and of course she wasn’t in until Tuesday. The lady I spoke to said she could book me in to see her tomorrow at 9.15am. and that was at the Gadebridge Office which was handy for me. My next job was to try and sort out some money I had no idea where to go. It took me ages walking down town and I was exhausted. I saw a building that I thought was the place I needed and went in. I explained what had happened and she said I needed the town hall and this was the probation service. I thanked her and trudged on. Again I explained to the receptionist what had happened and she said I needed to see a childrens officer but I had no idea why and quite honestly I was to exhausted to care.

The childrens officer came and again I explained my ignorance as to where I should be going and said my husband had left me with £5 and I had three children and I needed to sort out some kind of help. She totally misconstrued what I was on about or maybe it was me as I was beginning to get upset. She started to sympathise with my situation and for me that was fatal any sympathy and I was in tears. She said did I think I could cope, as they could help me and I suddenly realised she meant care. I said I was fine although I know I wasn’t acting fine. I just needed to know where I had to go to sort out my money situation.

By this time she realised I was at the wrong place and I think she felt sorry for and said she would dial the number for me and I could arrange to see someone about money. This I did and was told someone would visit me on Wednesday at 11am. Unfortunately I had inadvertently now involved the social services and said they would have to come and make a visit at a later date to see how I was coping. I said this wasn’t necessary but there was no choice.

I had a long difficult walk home now in a foot of snow and all up hill. I was exhausted just thinking about it and I had to rush to pick up the twins from nursery. It took me an hour to get home one step forward and two steps back.

I picked up the twins and they asked if Daddy was home, I said no and that was that. I couldn’t believe it they went straight upstairs and I asked what they were doing and in unison they said they were tidying there bedroom. We were going to be alright with kids like that I had enough incentive to do my bit with force.

My next job was to inform the car loan people and gas and electric of Mikes new address he could take care of the bills that accrued while he was here. I also had the gas and electric from that date transferred to my name. I was going to inform everyone, if he thought he would get out of paying his debts he had another think coming.

I somehow got though the day, with no problem about changing the utilities to my name and they said they would pursue Mike for the outstanding bills and that nothing would be cut off. My main worry was the meeting I had tomorrow at the council. I rehearsed everything I would say and made notes as I would forget half the things.
I knew Mike would not be happy about me passing on Junes address but I had to protect myself and the kids. I had rung Junes this morning but Mike would not speak to me.

I went and picked up Sheila and Stephen from nursery and we had lunch and I realised there was such a change in them, even after a couple of days, especially Sheila she was hardly stuttering and was so happy and relaxed.

Next to come home was Lesley she was now coming home on her own ,well with her friend Kim who lived across the road from us. She was eight in 4 weeks and the twins were five and after the Easter would start proper school full time.

We all sat at the table Lesley had a sandwich and I had a cup of tea the twins just had some biscuits and a drink and they talked about their day at school and nursery. Then Lesley said had I noticed that Sheila was not stuttering I said I had and she said I think its because Dads not here. I said maybe it was the speech therapy that was starting to work but I knew she was right it was Mikes absence. Everyone was happier. What a sad indictment.

The next morning came I took the children to school and then went on to the council offices. I was really scared the outcome could be horrific. My Mum and Dad said we could go and stay with them if the worst came to the worst but I hoped something would turn up.

I went in to see the lady in charge of the housing a Mrs Smith she was very nice and asked me to take a seat. She had all our details in front of her and I said if the eviction order could be withdrawn I would do my very best to pay off the arrears. I told her I had no idea that we were in such dire straits until Mike left us during the night and kindly left me all the correspondence.

I said I had found out he was staying with his sister but that he would not speak to me. I also told her I had changed everything into my name as of the day he left and was in the process of sorting out Social Services as he had left me just £5.

She said please take a breath , I have decided, on what you have just told me that the eviction order will stand. At this point I broke down, I could see me and the kids homeless . She said I had not let her finish The eviction order would stand for Mike, if I gave her his address she would forward it on to him. That meant the tenancy would be transferred to me and I would start from scratch. Mike would have to pay off the arrears and any decorating that may have to be done. I would be treated as a new tenant. They would have to do an inspection to see what other charges they could pass on to Mike.

I explained that a person from Social Services was coming to my house tomorrow at 11.00am to arrange everything but until that was sorted out I was not in a position to pay the rent. She said Mikes tenancy would not expire until about 25th March therefore I would not take over the tenancy until 2nd April. This was excellent news I could relax now. I thanked Mrs Smith,she could not have been nicer and more understanding of the situation. From what I gathered they had been trying to contact Mike for months to warn him that if he didn’t co-operate that we would be evicted but he had ignored all correspondence.

She also said that Social Services usually paid the rent direct to the council so I wouldn’t have to worry about that.
I said that I would not let her down, I had been so worried coming here this morning . She said she knew I wouldn’t let her down , she prided herself on being a good judge of character. Also if I had any problem or concerns to get in touch with her straight away. She wished us all the best, said a letter would be in the post for me explaining everything and to arrange a home visit to finalise Mikes tenancy

I would also get a letter offering me the tenancy which I would have to sign and return. I thanked her again and went out with a much lighter spring in my step. The world was beginning to look a lot better for me and the kids. I don’t know about Mike he was going to be crippled with debt but whose fault was that. My saying again, you reap what you sow. Ignorance is no form of defense. I would ring June tonight and try to speak to Mike again and pass on the good news that I had done him up like kipper.

Also he shouldn’t worry as the kids would have a roof over their heads no thanks to him. As if it worried him. He couldn’t careless. The single life this is what he wanted. In my book he is the loser the kids and I were the winners. He had nothing but the clothes he could get in the case and what he stood up in. I hoped he would visit the kids but I really didn’t think he would, maybe Christmas. It would be interesting to see what would happen on their birthdays just a few weeks away 23rd and 24th March.

I went home it would be time to pick up the twins soon. Just time for a cup of tea and to survey my domain. There was a letter for me, it looked as though it was from Mikes Mum , it was . It was a really nice letter apologising for her sons behaviour and said if it was ok she would come and see us on Sunday. She had also enclosed £20 which she said she really wanted me to have and also to treat the children. She said don’t be too proud to accept she knew what I was like. June had told her I had refused money from her but that was different. I would accept this because I knew she had sent it for the right reasons.

I prepared the kids lunch and then went to meet them. They said they had had a really good day. I told them that we wouldn’t have to leave our house as I had been able to sort things out. So we could now get back to normal. I could see the relief on there faces and we had a big hug the three of us.

There was a knock at the door and it was someone from the loan people where Mike had got the second car, they wanted to speak to him I said he had left last Saturday. I said I could give them his new address if they wanted me to .They said that would be very handy and he said this with a wry grin on his face. I think he thought, she is enjoying this …and he was correct. He asked if he had taken the car I said I assumed so as I didn’t see him leave but hadn’t seen the car parked outside.

That had been the only people I hadn’t been in touch with because Mike had left no paperwork for them.

Page 72

It was back to Mike having to walk to work again from Gadebridge to Buncefield quite a walk, it was usually only too work, he could most times get a lift home. He was not a happy bunny of course, I got the blame you would have thought I caused it on purpose. It was, if I hadn’t had to take you to work and I replied if you had never been born. He realised what he was saying was crazy and we ended up laughing.

Me and the kids were watching the TV when Mike came in and said he had a surprise for us and to come and look outside, we all followed him and he stood by a car and said I have just bought this. I was dumbstruck, I couldn’t believe he could be so stupid. I asked him how much it cost him he said £300 this may not seem much now but when you owe money to everyone and are paying for another car that was written off it was downright crazy.

I said I wouldn’t discuss it in the street, we would talk about it upstairs but he insisted on taking us for a ride in it. I refused, so he took the kids. When they got back after about 10minutes I asked him where he had got the money from as I knew he had got the loan for the other car from Provident Co that collected the payments weekly and you paid extortionate repayments, he wouldn’t have been able to get another loan from there. He said someone at work had told him about another company the same as Provident and he had got it from there. I asked him how on earth we could pay all this and the arrears he owed on the rent etc….He said I worried too much and to shut up as he would sort it.

Mike had to do a Saturday shift and asked Steve if he would like to go with him as it was only a short trip, Steve said he would. The next morning it was really freezing and Steve was dressed up in warm clothes. Mike went and collected the tanker then came and picked up Steve, he was thrilled to bits. When they got home a few hours later Mike said they had been going down Galley Hill when the tanker hit a patch of black ice and they ended up going down the hill sideways, completely out of control. Mike said he pushed Steve to the floor of the cab and told him to hold tight. The tanker went to the bottom of the hill straight across a main road and ended up in Gadebridge Park. Luckily there was no traffic on the road being a Saturday and early.
Thank goodness I hadn’t known about it earlier. Steve thought it was a great adventure.

My Mum rang me and said they had told Dennis of there find behind the fireplace and she said he went ashen looked absolutely terrified and asked my Dad what he had done with the items. My Dad said first tell us what they were doing there. Dennis said he was looking after them for a mate. My Dad said tell him thank you then, he would keep the gold watch and my Mum quite liked a couple of the rings and he said I quite fancied something. Dennis was almost beside himself he said if he didn’t get them back to his mate then he would be in serious trouble. My Dad asked him if he was getting paid for holding these things or was he getting drugs in return.

Dennis finally owned up he would be given drugs as soon as the jewellery was returned intact. This so called mate said he would lose a finger for every item not returned. He stressed to my Dad that he had to have it all. My Dad made him promise never to do anything else like that again, as if the police had come round my Dad would be implicated.

This was the final straw they were definitely going to move to Rotherham. My Mum immediately put things into motion. They decided to have proper furniture removal people rather than do it themselves although more expensive it would be less stressful. There was loads to organise my Mum and Dad who both worked at Harrods, my Mum as a Buyer and my Dad as a porter, had to hand in there notice also give notice to the landlord, he would be upset because they had become friends over the years.

The date was set for moving it was the middle of December, rather close to Christmas but they had to get Dennis away from the situation he was in, even he agreed he was in it up to his neck and he couldn’t get out of it his self.
Lesley,Sheila and Steve were really upset, they said they would miss there Nan and Grandad but my Mum said they would be able to go and stay with them whenever they wanted, they were pleased with this.

We had three weeks to go so Mike and I arranged to go over the next weekend to help sort things and do some packing as they would then have the packing crates.

My Mums brothers Doug and Ken were going to help them the other end so I knew they would be fine. Sheila continued to get more like her old self but she still stuttered . The school recommended she should see a speech therapist and Steve as he didn’t speak very clearly either. I think in Steves case it was laziness because we all understood him, so I think he thought why bother.

My Mum and Dad and Dennis finally moved and got settled in a couple of days before Christmas. This would be the first year since the children were born that we hadn’t gone to their house on boxing day for the kids second Christmas day. It would be odd. Christmas came and went the children had loads of presents and had a good time. Mike hadn’t been too bad I have seen him worse.

Mike was not his usual self he seemed quite withdrawn, even more than usual. Linda came over and she said whats the matter with him. I said I had no idea, I know money was very tight. I had asked him what was wrong and he jumped down my throat and said nothing, can you not keep going on about it. I thought time to shut up.

It was freezing cold and we had loads of snow the kids loved it. On the first night of the snow I got the kids all dressed warmly with their wellie boots and gloves and off we went first footing. They were each trying to be the front person to be the first to walk on the new snow, me as well. We had a great time but by now were so cold. We all decided to go home . I made them a cup of oxo each to warm them up and we sat around the fire getting warm. Then it was bath and bed.

It was now February and I had a letter from my Mum saying Dennis was doing great, he was off the drugs and was working. My Dad was really enjoying it and she thought it was the best thing they could have done. She said how nice it was to have all her brothers and sisters close by, there was always someone visiting.

I woke up one Saturday morning and noticed that Mike was already up. This was unheard of on a Saturday morning unless he was working ,which didn’t happen very often. I went downstairs but there was no sign of him. The place was a mess though there were papers and bills everywhere. Then I noticed an envelope with my name on it. I opened it and it said he was sorry but there was no other way he had to leave as he had got in a real mess this time with no way out other than to leave us. He said he owed money on the cars he hadn’t been able to pay for weeks but the worst thing was he had received an eviction order weeks ago and we had to either pay the arrears five days after receipt ,which he obviously hadn’t done or we would be evicted on the 1st of March 1970. It was now the 25th February 1970 . I had a week to do something I had no idea what. I could not believe he had left me with this. Me and three children with no roof over our heads in a weeks time.

I dashed upstairs and looked in Mikes wardrobe and it was empty also the big suitcase was gone. I went back downstairs, I was like a headless chicken, I had no idea what to do. I had no money at all. How was I going to manage, I was going to pieces and I realised if I did then we were finished and I wouldn’t let that happen. Then I found in the envelope £5 he said that was all he had. He had kindly left me all the bills. From what I could see with a quick glance we wouldn’t have any gas or electric before long. He hadn’t paid anything for months. Why hadn’t I made sure the bills were paid. Then of course what would I tell the kids as I had no idea where he was. He could have gone to his Mums but I doubted that or to his sister June who ran a general store in Hammersmith.

I could do nothing about the eviction or the bills until Monday. Later I would phone his Mum and sister and check with them and tell my Mum. I knew he wouldn’t be back or he wouldn’t have taken all his clothes with him. Typical, in the face of adversity do a runner. I assumed he had taken the car as I couldn’t see it parked outside.

The children would be up soon and I had to work out how I would tell them. I thought to myself that after I had done that I would feel better and I would sit down and work out my moves for Monday morning. It was quite handy because a few weeks ago the twins had changed there nursery to mornings, this would give me about 4 hours to try and at least extend the eviction date. I had no idea if this was possible I had never been in this awful position before.

I tried to explain to the children about Mike but I didn’t have very much to tell them as at this time I didn’t know where he was, although I said he would probably be with their Auntie June. I don’t know what reaction I expected from them but it wasn’t the one I got which was ok can we have breakfast now.

I must admit I was shocked and a little saddened to think that his departure meant so little to them but then again I have said time and time again you reap what you sow. I have warned Mike on loads of occasions that he would end up with the kids not caring one way or the other for him.

The kids were happily playing and I wrote down a list of things I must sort out, at least try to sort out . The main one being the eviction. On looking at the paperwork he had left in greater detail, this was the second eviction letter he had received. I was also confused as to how I didn’t see these letters I can only assume they must have come when I took the kids to school. He must have been listening for the postman. No wonder he had been withdrawn he must have been scared I would get to the post before him.

I phoned Mike’s Mum and told her what had happened and she was shocked and said she hasn’t heard from him for weeks and suggested he must be at Junes. I rang Junes and at first she said he wasn’t there but I said he wasn’t at his Mums so he could only be at hers. She finally admitted that he was there, I asked to speak to him but he refused. I said to June are you proud of your gutless brother he hadn’t even the decency to tell me face to face what was going on. Just walk out probably in the middle of the night and leave me a pile of bills, an eviction notice and £5.

She said she was thoroughly ashamed of him but what could she do. After all he was her baby brother. She said she would send me some money but I said no thank you we will manage. I could have done with it but I wouldn’t let them think they could appease their conscience by giving me money. In fact it really spurred me on ,I would show them all. All my life from 9yrs old had been hardship this was nothing in comparison.

I went home and told the kids I really wanted to speak to them to let them know it was going to be difficult for us but if we all helped each other it would all come out right. I explained that money was even shorter than usual instead of sweets every day after school could we make it every other day. I said I had a lot to sort out so if they could be good kids it would make things easier for all of us.

They were amazing ,they said they would do all these things and keep their bedrooms tidy too . What amazing kids I had, I loved them so much. We would get through this, I just knew it. I said we would go for a nice walk for them to get wrapped up warm as it was snowing again we would go and have some fun. We went down to Gadebridge Park and built a huge ball of snow. They had a wonderful time and me too. I was determined it wasn’t going to be doom and gloom . We stayed until we were just to cold and worn out then back we went that was the worst part the snow was driving into our faces. When we got home at last it seemed an age, I took off their wet clothes and they put on dry ones and sat around the fire while I made our usual oxo drink. Then had a bath ready for school the next morning. After that dinner and bed.

Page 71

Mike came home from work and I told him Sheila was coming home tomorrow (Saturday) and he said he would take us all to pick her up. The next thing he said was we will have to make the most of tonight as all hell will probably break loose when Sheila comes home. I knew what he meant as the three of them together in normal circumstances was a rowdy affair with arguments left right and centre but I thought he could have at least show some pleasure at having her home and well. That was Mike if everybody was happy then he would have to put an end to it somehow.

Lesley and Stephen beat a hasty retreat upstairs, they knew if they stayed there he would start on them. I just did not know what his problem was. You would think that he would be pleased that everyone was happy and having fun but no that was a signal for him to put an end to it by being downright nasty for no reason other then he was unable to join in and jealous.

Lesley and I picked out some really nice clothes for Sheila to come home in poor kid hadn’t worn anything other than a nighties and dressing gown. While they had been upstairs they had drawn a picture each for her to welcome her home. The next morning came we all got ready and off we went. Lesley and Stephen had to wait in the visitor room while Mike and I went to fetch Sheila. She ran to the door and said have you brought my clothes. I said that I had and she started getting dressed she just couldn’t wait to get out of there.

The nurse gave us the medication for Sheila and said if we were at all worried then to ring the ward. She said she would probably be a bit of a handful and prone to tantrums and to try and humour her as much as possible. We also had to massage her legs as she still had the lumps there from the injections and they were very painful.

Out we went it was the first time for 4weeks that Sheila had been outside in the fresh air. She was so excited. We all got in the car and off we went. Home James don’t spare the horses.

When we got home Sheila said it all looked different but it wasn’t, we hadn’t done a thing. First thing she did was go upstairs to her bedroom. I don’t think she could believe she was home at last. She loved the drawings Lesley and Stephen had done.

My Mum and Dad had come over for the day to see Sheila and they couldn’t believe how much weight she had lost, she was skinny before the illness now she looked as if you could blow her over. With lots of good food and lots of love I was sure she would soon get back to her old self.

My Mum said they were thinking of moving back to Yorkshire to try and take Dennis away from the drugs in London. They had arranged to go and stay at my Grans’ for a long weekend and try and find somewhere to live . I would miss them so much. First my Mum had to go into hospital for an operation ,she had a prolapsed womb and they were going to stitch it back into place. It didn’t sound very nice, she was due to go into St Georges Hospital at Hyde Park a week on Monday.
Sheila was an absolute nightmare nothing we did was right. She would sit in the middle of the room and just scream she wouldn’t let any one near her. She also started to wet her pants something she had never done. I knew what was causing this I was convinced she was blaming me , in fact all of us for her being put into hospital and this was her way of paying us back.

I really tried to be patient with her but nothing worked. She hardly slept, she would go in the garden with Stephen and Lesley and cause mayhem when they retaliated she would sit and scream I would fly downstairs thinking she was really hurt but no just having a tantrum. I was at the end of my tether I really didn’t know how to handle her.
We were all sat at the table one day having dinner and she decided she was going to not use her knife and fork properly Mike was annoyed with her and kept telling her to eat properly, I could see he was losing his temper and I asked him to be patient with her but no he got up and I couldn’t believe my eyes he just slapped her on her legs. I screamed at him that her legs were really painful as he well knew and he said well it might teach her then. Some logic?. She was in such agony I could have killed him how nasty could a Dad be. His next comment was get her out of here or she will get another slap. It was now turning into a slanging match I said he would have to get past me first. Lesley and Stephen were sat there terrified I said to them to come with Sheila and I upstairs.

Off we went Mike didn’t say a thing I actually think he had forgotten about Sheila’s legs in that instant but instead of being a man and picking her up and apologising , no he had to play the non caring idiot. Another nail in the coffin of our relationship. He had done far too many things for it ever to be right again.

I know Sheila was a terror but we were told there would be problems. I knew I faced a battle with her and also Mike to try and keep the peace. I decided I was going to ring the hospital the next morning and explain Sheilas’ uncontrollable outbursts and ask what I could do to try and avert them . They were so bad she was hyperventilating, sweating and really in a terrible way. Now Mike was playing up I had to do something as our house would be hell.

I managed to speak to Sheilas’ doctor and he said he would ring my GP and tell him to prescribe a sedative. He said it was very strong and I should only use it when I could see she was in danger of losing it. He said it would only take a very short time to work. He also said he knew he could trust me not to abuse it as we had got to know each other during the time she was in the hospital. I was also to give her a spoonful of this medicine at night five minutes before bedtime this would allow all of us to get some sleep. He suggested this for just 5 nights and then hopefully she would have got out of the habit. He also said he thought my theory of her blaming us was spot on and that it would be short lived. I thanked him and he said he would make an appointment to see her in 2 weeks to see how things were then.

The next day I went to the GP and sure enough he had a prescription for me. He said to use it sparingly and any further problems to go and see him as the consultant had briefed him.

Off I went to the chemist I was a bit scared about this medicine I didn’t really want to dose her up but for all our sakes we had to do something, especially for Sheila.
The chemist warned me this medicine was very strong I said I was well aware of the does and don’ts . The medicine was a lovely deep pink and appeared to be very thick. At least she would like the colour.

When I got home she wanted to try it but I tried to explain it was only for emergencies, I didn’t want to say when you lose control or she would have done it there and then. She really was manipulating us all.

She also started to stutter and she was complaining of not being able to see properly . I took her to the doctors and he gave her a very simple eye test and she failed miserably so we had to go to the opticians. The doctor seemed to think the stuttering and bad eye sight was all relative to the meningitis and thought over time would return to normal, I wasn’t so sure but hoped he was right.

She had her eye test and the optician said she definitely needed glasses her sight was quite bad. They didn’t have any decent glasses then for children so she had to have the horrible wire ones. They would be ready in a week.

It was a roasting hot day so I got the paddling pool out for the kids, they loved it jumping in and out until of course Sheila decided she had had enough and pulled out the plug. Lesley and Stephen were not amused and I couldn’t fill it again it was such a palaver with the kitchen being on the first floor. I told her that was a nasty thing to do and to apologise. She absolutely refused so I said she had to go indoors until she could be reasonable. That did it a tantrum of all tantrums she sat on the floor and screamed until she went blue in the face Maureen next door called out of her window to see what was wrong she was convinced she had been hurt, such was the racket. I managed to half carry and half drag her upstairs she was in a real state she had wet herself. I went and got the medicine this was the first time she had had any and at first knocked it out of my hand but I wouldn’t give in I poured another spoonful and this time managed to get her to swallow it. Well, you just wouldn’t believe it in less than 3 minutes she was fast asleep on my lap . Miracle medicine or what. I laid her on the sofa and covered her. I was a bit scared I had never seen anything work as quick as this.

The medicine became known as the knockout drops. I found it became a deterrent as she would start going mad and as soon as I went for the medicine she would say”no Mummy no knockout drops” and would stop it there and then . Not every time but 3 out of 4 times. Thank goodness.

She got her glasses but really didn’t want to put them on but when she did she said I can see everything now. The tantrums were much less frequent and life was slowly returning to some kind of normality.

I asked Mike how the arrears on the rent and car was going and he said fine he had nearly caught up. Why did I not believe him I had this niggling feeling that things were not all hunky dory. Still I had Sheila to contend with he could get on with it.

My Mum had been in hospital and had her operation I did manage to visit her but only once. I didn’t dare leave Sheila with Mike instead of a teaspoonful of medicine he would probably give her the whole bottle, so I had to wait until Linda could come over. My Mum was only in for a week and said she felt much better. Dennis was still up to his tricks and they were seriously going to try and find somewhere to live in Rotherham. In fact they were going that weekend. They were really worried as to what they would come back to but he wouldn’t go with them or come to stay with us which to be honest I was quite glad . I had enough going on here .

I got a call from my Mum saying the house next door to my Uncle Doug was up for rent . It was a beautiful house, exactly the same as Doug’s very impressive. They look really big from outside with lovely bay windows but inside there are only two double size bedrooms and just a box room. Downstairs there was a lounge and a living room and the tiniest kitchen you have ever seen. It had large front and back gardens. I said if they were serious about moving to Rotherham then they should take it as for one thing it was right next door to her brother Doug and his wife Pat , it was close to the shops and just a lovely place to live. The name of the road was Worrygoose Lane.

She said then she would take it if I approved. She said my Dad was thrilled to bits he got on really well with our Doug. I said I would help with the packing and Mike would help with the removal if they decided to do it themselves . I arranged that Mike myself and the kids would go to see them next weekend and we could sort things out. Doug had offered to pay there rent for a month or two to give them time to get moved. A few years ago Doug had won the football pools about £30,000 which in 1959 was a fortune actually its quite a lot now.

Sheila was getting much better the tantrums were really few and far between, the stuttering was quite bad and always seemed worse when Mike was around. She had stopped wetting herself. I think she thought she had punished me enough. I still think that was what it was all about. She was still very hyper but we could control it.

My Mum rang me again and said Dennis had had a party and the living room door was smashed the carpets all stained she said it was an awful mess. Needless to say this definitely decided them about the house in Rotherham.

We went to my Mum and Dads as arranged on the following Saturday and we were sat in the living room when my Dad noticed that the wooden surround to the fireplace was all out of line. He had built it and said it couldn’t have moved its self. He went and started to dismantle it when a couple of watches and some rings came tumbling down he was dumbstruck he looked at the watches and realised they were really expensive gold watches and rings. Mum and Dad looked at each other and said Dennis. My Dad gathered them up and put them in a drawer , he couldn’t wait for Dennis to come home , he said he wouldnt be home until we had gone as he couldn’t face me ,I hadn’t seen him for months. My Dads theory was that he was hiding them for someone probably in exchange for drugs.

I was having difficulty realising that my brother who meant the world to me was leading this sordid seedy life. My Mum said she didn’t think he had been near a bath or soap. He was really letting himself go. That’s the drug culture for you.

My Mum said she thought Sheila was looking much better and seemed more relaxed. I said it had been a difficult time but we had survived to tell the tale. It was almost time for Lesley to go back to school after the summer holidays. I wanted to have a word with the doctor to confirm it will be ok for Sheila to go back to nursery , Stephen was looking forward to it . They had been going 3 mornings a week to the Community Centre Nursery but of course Sheila hadn’t been for a long time.

The doctor said he thought Sheila would be fine to go to nursery just that I should explain the situation to the lady in charge just to make her aware.

I was looking through the jobs page in the local paper and saw an advert for part-time women for a statistics firm in Berkhamsted with Mike working nights at Texaco we could cope with me doing 4 hrs in the afternoons and the money would certainly come in handy. I mentioned it to Mike and he was all for it and said he would look after the kids. Sheila was so much better now I didn’t mind leaving her with him.

I rang the company and was asked to go that afternoon for an interview as they had so much work on. Mike took me as if I got the job he would have to do every day and pick me up. I got the job it was coding the sheets of market research people into ledgers quite straight forward really. I was to start the following Monday the day the kids went back to school / nursery which worked out well. Mike would only have to pick them up from school and look after them for about an hour then they would all come to pick me up. It sounded perfect in theory.

Monday soon came I got the Lesley off to school had a word with the teacher about Sheila ,she seemed very understanding. Did a bit of housework, couldn’t do much as Mike was in bed he worked permanent nights now. I got lunch ready for us and then took them to nursery, they were really excited. I came back Mike was up and we left to start my job. I hadn’t worked for 7 yrs it was a bit scary.

It went ok a bit stressful trying to pick it up but by the end I had sussed it and tomorrow would be a doddle, I hoped.
I went outside and there were my beautiful family waiting for me all clamouring to tell me about there first day at school and nursery. Sheila and Stephen had had a great time and Lesley she had been a bit apprehensive as she had a new teacher this term but she said she was really nice.

So far so good everything had been fine. The week passed without any major trauma and I got my first pay packet for 7 yrs what a thrill ,shame I had to give it to Mike to put towards the bills but that was the reason I was doing it. I went to work the following Monday and enjoyed it they were a good bunch of people we did have a laugh. I went out to find Mike but I couldn’t see the car anywhere. I hoped he hadn’t forgotten me, when suddenly a strange voice shouted my name I turned round and it was Terry, Maureens husband who lived next door. He said Mike had crashed the car going home after dropping me off he had hurt his ribs and Stephen had smashed his face and Sheila had hurt a finger. I tried to ask him how bad Stephens face was but he just said it was well bashed. Evidently they had been at the hospital all afternoon. I was terrified . I was really getting nothing out of Terry. I thanked him for picking me up and dashed indoors
Mike looked in agony he had broken a couple of ribs.Stephen had just hit his nose nothing broken just a bit sore. Sheila’s finger had been bent backwards but was fine now. Lesley was playing with her friend so wasn’t in the car. Terry had really panicked me , talk about blowing things out of proportion . It could have been much worse, evidently the road was muddy and Mikes car and somebody else coming the opposite way just slid into each other. They called an ambulance because the children were screaming and no one new what was wrong with them. The police decided it was no-ones fault and no charges were brought.

Of course this had serious repercussions for us, firstly I would have to give up my job as I couldn’t get there without a car and secondly Mike only had third party fire and theft insurance and as the car was a write-off we wouldn’t get a penny. If it had been the other guys fault we could have claimed off his insurance but of course the police had decided they were both to blame equally. So Mike would still have to pay the payments on the car.

Page 70

She went to sleep, she appeared to be in pain she kept holding her head, even in sleep. The nurse said the Doctor was coming to sedate her . The Doctor said the lining of her brain was inflamed and was causing severe pain and the only thing they could do to alleviate the pain was to sedate her. He said I should go home as she wouldn’t be allowed to wake up until the morning when hopefully the pain will have eased.

The next morning Mike went with me to see Sheila he could stay for a while but then had to go to work. This morning she was awake and seemed in less pain but she was still not acknowledging us. I went and found a doctor and he said she was now out of danger it was just a matter of having patience and to let things take there course, he said it would perhaps take a year for her to be her normal self. Her brain and nervous system had taken such a pounding that only time would tell us if there would be any permanent damage but he was pretty sure as he could be that she would eventually be fine.

She woke up and said ,"hello Mummy why did you put me here". I tried to explain she had been really ill but she began to get upset and said again I shouldn’t have left her. I began to realise that she had no idea how ill she was and had no memory of the ambulance all she knew was that she was on her own and we had all deserted her. She would not let us comfort her or explain she just said she wanted us to go as her head was hurting. I couldn’t stop the tears I loved her so much. If I had been able I would have stayed with her day and night but in those days it was not allowed.

The Doctor said to not take it to heart as she was really confused and she was only 4 yrs old and her power of reasoning was not properly developed yet. He said give her another few days and things would be very different. As soon as she was allowed out of her cot then she would go into the main childrens ward and have contact with other kids. He said it would be better if we left her as she was still getting agitated. I couldn’t believe it, I was so upset my little girl didn’t want me with her. Then I realised, what was the matter with me I had been through this before when my Dad had his brain tumour removed he didn’t act rational. I mentioned this to the doctor and he said it would be the same, any injury to the brain either by surgery, accident or disease would bring out this irrational behaviour but would in Sheila’s case be short –lived. I went to say goodbye and give her a kiss but she was having none of it and told us to go. It really was heartbreaking in spite of knowing it was the meningitis that had caused this. It was really hard. She had had so many health problems in her short life.

Mike was devastated I hadn’t seen him hurt like this before, he actually showed his feelings and I could see tears in his eyes but he wouldn’t talk about it.

I would talk to Linda and the kids later ,I needed a hug from them. I needed reassurance from them, as I felt so rejected by Sheila even knowing the situation it hurt so much.

I was actually dreading going to the hospital the next morning as I had no idea what reaction I would get from Sheila. As I went into her room she sat up and shouted Mummy, Mummy give me a hug. I couldn’t believe my ears a totally different child to yesterday. I held her so tight she said I was squeezing her to bits.

The nurse came in and said Sheila was doing really well, she said the change came about at about 6.00am that morning she opened her eyes and was smiling at everybody. She said she still must not get out of bed , she still needed complete bed rest. The Doctor was going to do some tests on her the next day and depending on the outcome she could then go to the main childrens ward. I was so thrilled and couldn’t wait to tell Lesley and Stephen. Stephen had really been missing Sheila he wasn’t his usual happy self, he spent a lot of time just sat in the chair staring into space. No amount of coaxing helped. It was also the disruption at home. I left home every morning at about 9.30am and didn’t get home until around 3.00pm

Next week was going to be difficult as Linda was back at work I was hoping my friend Maureen would help but I would have to not stay as long at the hospital. Kim , Lesley’s friend said her mum would look after Steve and Lesley any time I was stuck for a babysitter she would be only too happy to help. So maybe things wouldn’t be to bad.

In normal circumstances my brother Dennis would have been over like a shot but according to my Mum he was in a really bad state with the drugs, he was now on heroin and nothing mattered to him but scoring his drug. My Mum and Dad I think were in a living hell with him, he was stealing, doing burglaries all sorts.

If this hadn’t of been happening my Mum and Dad would have come to stay and look after the children but they were too scared as Dennis would steal anything that wasn’t nailed down. The TV and even some of my Mums clothes had gone. Dennis denied all knowledge but a neighbour had seen him carrying it out of the house.

Mike had withdrawn his notice at Texaco and he had at last made arrangements with the Housing Office to pay extra each week off the arrears and also the other creditors . I don’t know what explanation he gave as to why he had ignored the letters but he seemed to have swung it his way. We were even more hard up now paying all the extra , it was costing me a small fortune travelling to Watford every day.

Sheila had had all the tests and was now going into the big ward she was so excited. She wanted to go straight away but was told it would be the next day before a bed became available. She was so much better but still asked why we left her there she could not understand as she said she couldn’t remember anything after her check up at the hospital. You could only imagine what was going through her mind having no clue where she was or who the people around her were. It was getting to be a nightmare trying to leave the hospital she hung on to me and threatened to get out of bed if I went. On more than one occasion I had to call a nurse to restrain her so I could leave. Because Lesley and Stephen were being looked after by neighbours I had to pick them up at a certain time. I had no choice but to leave Sheila screaming. It was awful.

She had now been in hospital for 2 weeks and I had been every single day. It was very tiring mentally and physically but I couldn’t let her think she had been abandoned again.
The next morning I went as usual to Sheila’s room but it was empty that must mean she was in the childrens ward at last. I went and found a nurse and she said she had been looking out for me but must have missed me. She said Sheila was fine and loved it in the big ward, she also said that visiting was restricted now she was on the mend and that it was upsetting to other children whose parents couldn’t come in the daytime. So after today visiting would only be from 2.00pm to 4.00pm this was going to give me a headache as I really had to be home for Lesley coming out of school. I coudnt expect neighbours to go and meet her. So I would have to leave at 3.00pm at the latest I just hoped with Sheila having other children around she wouldn’t mind too much.
She was just about back to normal now, being with the other children really helped and I managed to get away to be home for Lesley.

I didn’t know quite what I was going to do for the next 2 weeks as Lesley was on holiday from school. I mentioned to the nurse and said I may not be able to find anyone to look after my other children due to the holidays and she said I could bring them with me and they could play in the visitors room but wouldn’t be able to visit Sheila.

When I got home I told Lesley and Stephen that they could come with me but must stay in a visitors room. This visibly cheered Stephen up even though he wouldn’t see Sheila I think he thought he would be near her. The next morning we all set off on our adventure it felt like that, everyone was in high spirits. I put them in the vistors room with some books and toys and they promised to be good as I knew they would. These children had been amazing for the last 3 weeks they had taken everything in there stride. They were literally sent to stay with just about all the neighbours.

The Doctor came to see me and said they were so pleased with Sheila’s improvement that they thought she was ready to go home. He said we would have to expect a few changes as she was very highly strung at the moment and would on some occasions be a lot to handle. I said I could cope and would hope she may improve being at home. He said it could go either way. He also said she still had medication to take for a further week and to handle her legs with care as because she had had so many injections at one point the veins couldn’t be used so they had to what you call skin pop the injections into the skin down the front of her legs. This had left a series of lumps which needed to be massaged very gently as they were very painful.

When the Doctor told Sheila she could go home tomorrow she was cavorting around the ward like a mad thing she was so pleased. She said I can see Lesley and Stephen again and sleep in my bed. It was time for me to go and I said I would be there nice and early tomorrow and bring her clothes. When I told the kids they were thrilled to be going to see her again. 31/2 weeks was a long time to a child. I told them she might be a little terror because of her illness but that we would have to try and be patient with her and Stephen said what about Dad. Out of the mouths of babes. I said I would explain to him also. The house was electric with excitement, for me it was having all my kids together and not to have to do that journey every day. Not to have to arrange for someone to look after Lesley and Stephen.

Page 69

We eventually got to the hospital and the doctors and nurses were there waiting with a stretcher and rushed her inside, we followed not knowing what to do or where to go. We knew that Sheila was the priority so we just sat and waited. About 20 minutes later a doctor came to us and said they were pretty sure in was meningococcal meningitis which was the nasty one but they wouldn’t know for sure until they did a lumbar puncture and needed our consent. Of course we gave it straight away, I knew about these as my Dad had them when he had the tumour and it was then done without anaesthetic. I asked the doctor if it was still the same but he assured me she wouldn’t feel a thing.

The waiting was agonising every time a person came past we thought it was for us. Eventually the doctor came to us and said they now knew it was the meningococcal meningitis and they were pumping her full of penicillin which is evidently the only treatment. The Doctor said he had been told that I had been giving her the antibiotic through the night I confirmed it and thought I might be in for a telling off but no the opposite he said I had most definitely given her a better chance of recovery. He said she was what they called on open order which meant they weren’t sure if she would pull through it was a waiting game . The next 48hours were critical if she survived that then she stood an excellent chance of a full recovery.

The doctor said we could see her for a couple of minutes but she was still unconscious and then suggested we went home and got some rest, as there was nothing we could do. He said Sheila would be in an isolation ward as it was highly infectious and that we must watch the other children and if we had any doubts bring them to the hospital. In those days you were not allowed to stay with your children in hospital, there were strict visiting times .

We now had a problem we were both scruffy and eventually got a taxi home. I had left Carols telephone number at the hospital. When we got home Lesley and Stephen sobbed there hearts out because we hadn’t got Sheila with us they thought she had died. It was heartbreaking to see them. I sat them down and I told them every thing the doctor had said. I am a firm believer in sharing most things with the children ,then they appreciate what life is about. If you don’t give them the facts and just gloss over things then they don’t realise the true sequence of events.

That evening was pure hell not knowing what was happening at the hospital. I kept ringing but there was no change she was still on open order. I could not sleep that night. I did the washing and whatever else was needed that didn’t make a noise. I went up to bed about 4am and I did sleep until 7am. I got up and went to the phone box the hospital said there was no change but that she hadn’t got any worse. She was out of intensive care and in an isolation ward.

I got the kids washed and dressed and gave them breakfast. Linda had stayed the night and offered to stay with Lesley and Stephen again while Mike and I went to the hospital. I called Mike and asked if he was going to the hospital and he surprised me by saying of course he was and would be down in a minute and to get the kettle on.

When he came down I told him the nurse said we could stay with Sheila as long as we wanted but that she was still unconscious. He surprised me even more when he said if it got him down he would come home and go back for me.

When we got to the hospital we were taken to the isolation ward which I thought would have several children in but no it was just a small room with just Sheila’s cot in it. My heart broke she looked so so ill I just wanted to pick her up and hug her but we had been told we mustn’t take her out of the cot.

Shortly after the Doctor came to speak to us, this was a very scary moment. He said that there was a slight improvement but not enough to assume she was out of the woods. He also said that she hadn’t lost any fingers or toes I asked him what did he mean and he explained that the purple spots were where septicaemia was present and if she hadn’t been on the penicillin already she would certainly have lost some digits. I was shocked I had no idea this could happen. The Doctor said we had saved her life with the prompt treatment ,even though the Doctor had said it was tonsillitis . He said we should be cautiously optimistic.

Mike was shell shocked, we had come so close to losing her. We just didn’t know how devastating this strain of meningitis was. In fact we knew nothing about the disease at all before then.

A nurse came in and said they wanted to do some tests on Sheila and could we go and get something to eat for an hour or so then they should have finished. We went into Watford to try and find some food but of course it was Sunday and every where was shut . We eventually found a café, had some sandwiches and a drink. We then went for a walk to pass a little time before going back to the hospital.

When we got back they had finished and Sheila did look a little more comfortable but still unconscious. We stayed until 4pm then told the nurse that we were going and I would be back in the morning. I double checked they had Carols phone number and the nurse said don’t hesitate to ring any time day or night. She said she had a little girl the same age as Sheila and knew how she would feel in our situation. I thanked her and off we went. At least we had the car.

When we got home the kids were clamouring for news of Sheila and also wanted to know when they could visit. I said she was a little bit better but still very poorly and that they wouldn’t be allowed to visit her as she was infectious. They were not very happy but Lesley understood.

Linda was amazing she offered to stay all week so that I could go and visit Sheila every day. She had a weeks holiday and she was willing, in fact wanted to stay with the kids, so I took her up on her offer. I was up really early to get Lesley to school and I wanted to leave about 9.30am. I had to get a bus into Hemel Town and then another bus to Watford then about a 15minute walk to the hospital. I had no idea how long it would take.

It was a horrible journey it seemed to take forever. I eventually got to the hospital at 11am . I went to the nurses office and Sheila’s nurse said she was awake but not very responsive. I was still not allowed to pick her up. I went to her room and she looked up at me and seemed to look straight through me it didn’t seem to register to her that it was me. I was very scared ,I spoke to her but she just turned away . I went and found the nurse and told her what had happened, she said not to worry that it would take time for things to make sense to her. Her 48 hours were up and she was still with us .

Page 68

New people moved in next door but one, it turned out that Terry the Dad worked with Mike at Texaco he was also a tanker driver. When they got settled in they came to our house for a cup of tea and his wife Maureen and I got on really well. They had three children the eldest a girl Sharon was 13yrs old and then Teresa who was about 6yrs old and a little boy the twins age but he was a little terror. They had moved here from London and were real Eastenders but really nice.

Me my mum and Dennis

We went to my Mums and Dennis had conveniently gone out but at least we could tell my Mum and Dad what the Doctor had said that he must go and see his GP for some help. The soft drugs he was taking were very dangerous, also the contra indications of taking several different types at once could lead to death. He had given us some leaflets to give to Dennis but I had a feeling he wouldn’t even look at them.

He had at least got another job so he perhaps wouldn’t have to steal to buy the drugs. For a while after my Mum and Dad had told him to stop taking the drugs or they would tell him to leave and fend for his self. I couldn’t see them doing this but he did appear to change so maybe.

Things were going good at our house, the kids were really happy and Mike and I were getting along much better. It seemed that this move was the right one for us all. Sheila seemed as fit as a fiddle, no more problems in fact she seemed much better for just coming off the medication. She would hopefully have her last check up when she was 4yrs old and that would be that.

Mike had at last finished all the decorating it did look nice and now he had decided he was going to tidy up the garden. At the moment it was just lawn which was perfect for the kids as they had loads of garden toys slides etc… Mike said he would like to plant some rose bushes to brighten it up a bit, add a bit of colour. So off we all went to the local garden centre he bought loads it would really look nice.

He had been working so hard all day and I took him a cup of tea and thought I was being helpful by saying I thought a couple of the bushes would perhaps look better in a different place. My god did I say the wrong thing or what, he proceeded to uproot them all and said if I could do better then I was welcome. I told him not to be so stupid, wrong thing again. Then I made a swift exit with the kids and left him to it. I looked out of the kitchen window and just couldn’t stop laughing there he was going about a hundred miles an hour pulling them up. He had just spent about 3 hours planting them.

It really was like a Norman Wisdom film because no sooner had he uprooted them all than I think he realised what a dumb thing he had done and started all over again re planting them. I might add this time he did put a couple where I had suggested. When he had finished he came indoors and from that day to this he never referred to the incident. It was so pathetic.

We had a lovely summer the weather was lovely the kids really enjoyed the freedom of the garden. Maureens children came round to play and Kim from across the road. They would play for ages until David , Maureens son would upset someone he really was a little devil. He would get sent home then he would taunt the other kids from his window as they didn’t have a garden.

Mike came home and said someone at work had a car for sale, I believe it was a Ford Anglia and he really liked it. He said he was going to get a loan to buy it. I asked him to think about it first as we were just getting on our feet and it was nice to have a little extra but no he wouldn’t listen selfish or what. Nothing else mattered as long as he got what he wanted.

Sure enough about a week later he pulled up in the car it looked alright but I wasn’t happy. It wasn’t just buying it but also tax and insurance. Of course we had to drop everything and go for a ride the kids were excited so I didn’t say anything. It did seem a nice little car and I knew for the first week or so he would take us out in it but then the newness would wear off and it would be too much trouble. Been there, done that knew the procedure.

It was Mikes responsibility to pay for the car and I kept asking if he had paid it and he said he had. A few weeks went by and a letter arrived addressed to Mr and Mrs Prior so I opened it and it was a court summons for non payment of the loan for the car. I was so angry I had specifically asked him if it was being paid and he said yes. When he came home I showed it to him and he said he thought he had paid it but the letter said he had only paid 1 month. I just knew this might happen. We were really broke anyway, this house was costing a fortune to run and Mike wouldn’t do any overtime. The children were also costing a fortune with clothes and shoes etc… Mike said I would have to stop spending especially as he would probably have to pay a fine and also pay the balance which we hadn’t got.

We were really getting in a mess I had just found out the rent hadn’t been paid for weeks that should have come out of the his bank account on a standing order. In those days it was usually the husband who had the bank account and paid the bills.There were threatening letters coming from everywhere. Mike came up with this crazy idea of leaving Texaco and claiming his pension money he had paid in he said it was about £300 and that would put us straight . I tried to point out that giving up this well paid job would not help in the long run as he would then be out of work. I said if he wouldn’t spend so much on rubbish ie hobbies and we asked for time to pay I was sure they would accept this but no he wouldn’t hear of it. He said he would beg to no-one.

So guess what he gave in his notice and was then told it could take up to 3 months for the money to come through. We were now in a terrible mess in fact I had no clue as to what we were going to do. He knew he had messed up but reacted by shouting at everybody and generally making our lives a misery.

It was March 1969 and it was the day Sheila had to go hopefully for her last check up at West Herts Hospital, I was hoping Dr Jolly would be there it would have been nice for him to do the final checks as it was him who saved her life.

I had to take all the children as the appointment was 2pm but couldn’t take the risk of not being home for Lesley. Off we went armed with urine samples one from evening one from first thing. We went straight in and it wasn’t Dr Jolly but nevertheless he was a nice Doctor and said did we realise just how lucky we were that Sheila was here today. I said I was fully aware and hoped this would be the last hospital appointment .
He was really thorough and checked the urine samples and with a big smile on his face he said I am afraid……my heart stood still……I wont be seeing Sheila anymore. I felt like kissing him it was such a relief.
Home we went it was such a lovely warm day we decided to walk home through Gadebridge Park so the kids could play around. When we got home the kids wanted to go and collect snails I don’t know why but they did. They would put them in a jar and then see who got the most then put them back. This took place in the woods at the side of the road on Galley Hill a couple of minutes from our house.

They played for a couple of ours and then came home starving. First thing I said was wash there hands the thought of those snails made me feel ill. Tea was all ready so they sat at the table and cleared there plates. Lesley went out again to play with Kim and Sheila and Steve were kneeling on chairs at the table, colouring.

While they were quiet I watched the TV for a while. Suddenly Sheila started crying saying she couldn’t get off the chair her legs hurt and she didn’t feel well. I said she had probably got cramp with kneeling for so long. I lifted her off the chair but she couldn’t put any weight on her legs I was convinced it was cramp. I sat her in the armchair and realised she felt very hot and sticky, she didn’t look at all well. Then she said her neck hurt and her legs were still very stiff. Then she was sick. We only lived across the road from the Doctors surgery so I decided to wrap her up and run across. The only thing I could think of was polio with the stiff legs and neck.

We saw a Doctor I hadn’t seen before he was from their other surgery in Boxmoor. When I told him Sheila’s symptoms he grinned and said another over imaginative mother, I said no way I explained that we had been at West Herts Hospital all afternoon and that she was given a clean bill of health after being under the hospital since birth. He then said it was understandable that I would panic. I didn’t say any more it was pointless. He had made his mind up about me.

He then shocked me by saying she had tonsillitis. I asked him since when did you have stiff joints and neck with tonsillitis. He said she just probably ached a bit. He gave me a prescription for penicillin and I took Sheila home feeling fobbed off. I went straight to the chemist left Lesley to watch the twins. The chemist was also just across the road. The chemist suggested that I gave Sheila a double dose of the antibiotic to get it working to ease her symptoms.

I gave her the double dose and just gave her a little wash down to try and cool her and then put her to bed. I went up about 20mins later and she was fast asleep so I was hoping by morning she would be much better. I had decided that if she woke up in the night I would give her more antibiotic I was scared this bug or whatever might upset her kidneys again.

An hour later Stephen went to bed and Sheila looked quite peacefull and fast asleep. Next to go to bed was Lesley . Just as she was getting out of the bath Mike came home from work and I told him about Sheila and he said the Doctor knows what he is about. I said I didn’t trust him as I felt there was something more serious wrong with her. Then came the sarcasm, did I think I knew better than the Doctor, I said yes in this case I think I did , he laughed. I hoped the Doctor was right.

I again checked on Sheila several times before going to bed myself she seemed ok not as hot as she had been , so perhaps the antibiotics were starting to work. The next morning around 8am Stephen called me and said he couldn’t wake Sheila up, I flew out of bed and Sheila was on all fours in bed and as I picked her up she stayed in that same position as if her legs were locked in that position. I called Mike but he totally ignored me and I didn’t have time to waste on him.

Just as I got downstairs there was a knock at the door and it was Linda an old friend of Dennis’s. I laid Sheila on the sofa and could see she was unconscious and had purple spots on her shoulder and chest. I asked Linda to watch the kids and dashed downstairs to the lady who lived underneath Carol, she had a telephone and I called the Doctors it was a Doctor who answered and I explained the situation and as soon as I mentioned the purple spots he said he would be straight over after calling an ambulance. I was in shock I just had known there was something seriously wrong with her.

I went back upstairs and told Linda ,I said I had better try and get Mike up as we would be going to the hospital. He would not get up even after I had told him what the doctor had said. I went back downstairs to hell with him Sheila needed me. Linda tried to shout him but he wasn’t getting up for anybody. The Doctor arrived and said he had called an ambulance as he was pretty certain Sheila had meningitis. I didn’t really know what it was but knew it was death threatening. I told the doctor about the other Doctor saying tonsillitis and he said I had probably saved her life by giving her the penicillin double dose and through the night. I could hear Linda screaming at Mike that his daughter was dying didn’t he care. The ambulance arrived and we were told there were no facilities that Sheila needed at Hemel we would have to go to Shrodells at Watford. Mike heard the siren and was downstairs in no time.

The Doctor just said late night last night, to Mike. The ambulance men came in and were so gentle with her even though she was unconscious, I left Linda looking after Lesley and Stephen and asked her to try and ease there minds as they were terrified.
Mike and I were in the back of the ambulance with Sheila and an ambulanceman. He kept leaning over her listening for her breath. Suddenly he called the driver to stop as she wasn’t breathing and he started working on her and soon he said he had got her back. I was so terrified, I am not at all religious but I prayed for her to live. I knew she was a fighter but just how long can you go on fighting for